South Texas and Mexico
By MyBackYard
Frodo: Where am I? I am lost from the fellowship. I remember a terrible wind blowing, and a foul voice in the air crying ‘Claudette’, and I found myself in this strange place. Trees like I have never seen before and strange flat birdlife around me. I must try and find the others.
Texican: Venido en venido adentro, chiquito, que pasa? Todo esta bien??
Frodo: I am lost and I have to find the others? Have you seen any around here that look like me?
Texican: Si, Si, mi hijo. We saw this hombre the other day, down the road from here. Go to the Dairy Queen and go left till the road ends, and you will find the big tree, where we saw him. The tree there is said to be many thousands years old. The stranger was muy relajando there. We thought he might have been from California. Are you from California?
Frodo: No, sir, I am not. I am a hobbit from Middle Earth.
Texican: Middle Earth, ahh, then you are from Columbia?
Frodo: I thank you for your help. Good day to you, sir.
Texican: Adios muchachito, cuidad usted!
Frodo: It looks like the signature says ‘Mithrandir’. I wonder who could have written this, and is it a message from elves, left here for me?
Frodo: Gandalf, is it you?? It is so good to see you! Where are we??? What is this strange place with strange trees and birds??
Gandalf: Frodo, my lad!. More important than where, is when! We are in North America. It is July 26th, in the year 2003 of the Seventh Age. And the strange trees are a family of Texicents, known here as palms. They came south to here many ages ago, and liked it so much they have stayed. I travel here often, when I need to get away from the comings and goings of Middle Earth. Come along now, we have a long road before us! And, we need to get you something to blend-in with the locals a bit.
Frodo: Where we goin’, Gandalf?
Gandalf: To a fine canteena in Matamordos Mexico, my boy. They have a most remarkable pipe weed down there. They roll it into long tubes for smoking, called cigars. They are quite good!! Worth traveling several ages for.
Frodo: I think we should get off the road.
Gandalf: Won’t you join me in a beer and a bath, Frodo? It is a most delightful thing called a Jacuzzi. Most delightful!
Frodo: That’s ok, Gandalf. I’ll just wait here, and watch for orcs.
Gandalf: Remember Frodo, if you are asked anything by the guards, just say “mi tarjeta verde está en mi zapato”, and they won’t bother you further.
Frodo: Alright Gandalf, - mi tarjeta verde está en mi zapato. Got it.
Gandalf: Have a Margarita, Frodo. They are very good here. Deliciouso! And the smoke is a cuban!!
Frodo: I must get the ring to Mordor, and I do not know the way! You must help me Gandalf!
Gandalf: Yes, yes Frodo. I will show you the way.
Gandalf: From here you should travel north to a place called Carolina. There is a dwarf there named Corin Stormhands who can help you find the others. He is a good dwarf, and a friend of mine. Remember the Cuban in your pocket, and give it only to him. Keep it secret. Keep it safe.
Frodo: I can cut across country easily enough. I hope to see you again soon, only, in more familiar surroundings. I will be glad to get back to Sam’s cooking taters again. This place has given me, what was it called again, Montezuma’s Revenge??
Gandalf: Just remember, Frodo, this too shall pass.
